Life in the Fast Lane

Okay, that’s the song I’m currently grooving to, but it describes my weekend nicely as well.  Saturday we spent the day at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway watching qualifying for the Indy 500.  New Zealander, Scott Dixon, won the pole, running an average speed of over 226 mph.  WOW!  I really like old Scott.  He’s kinda reserved, but very classy, and underneath you can sense a pretty good sense of humor lurking.  And my guy, Dan Wheldon, is starting second, so I’m a pretty happy camper.

Then Sunday we went the opposite direction, driving to St. Louis to see Jersey Boys at the Fox Theatre.  The wind scared the crap out of me most of the time we were on the highway, trying to knock us out of our lane every thirty seconds or so.  These are the times I truly understand what spawned the god legends.  Because it sure felt like a big old fist was smacking into us repeatedly, perhaps irritated that we hadn’t made our morning offering of sacrificial lamb and grapes (since virgins are so hard to locate these days!).  Anyway, it was a fabulous musical, well worth the trip.  And we had a blast on the way home, stopping at a cafe that advertised foot-high pies.  We measured.  Our slices were only six-inches (most of that meringue), but hey, they were still delish!

So now I’m home-bound for the week, finishing up the rewrite on One More Bite.  But I’m curious.  What’s your ideal weekend like?

It’s Raining Again

Not complaining after all the sunshine we’ve had, but our windshield wipers decided to attack each other yesterday.  After a brief but violent battle, the one on the passenger side declared victory.  Which means I’ve had to scour the countryside for a windshield wiper arm to fit my vehicle.  People, when you live in the middle of nowhere and it’s raining and nobody has a part to fit your car so you can see to drive, you realize how nice it might be to live in the city sometimes.  Luckily I’ve found a place with a used (yeah, I said it) wiper arm, so I’m headed south in my little bitty car this afternoon.  So much for writing while it’s light outside.  Dammit!

Deep breath.  Okay, the world is not revolving around me.  And if it did, my clothes would keep burning off because I’d be the sun.  So I’ll be calming down now.  Because I like my clothes.  For the most part.

This morning I had a nice talk with a senior copyediting manager at Orbit who’s not nearly as scary as her title makes her sound.  We iced the cake (the cake being Bitten to Death) so it should be quite yummy when it gets to you later this summer.  And in about forty minutes I’ll be talking to a guy named Matt who writes for an up-and-coming UK magazine called Death Ray.  I’ll let you know when the interview gets published as soon as I find out. 

Leaving you with a bright spot, because even if your day’s sunny, everybody needs a flower sometimes.

dsc00194.JPG

Official Author?

We spent the day at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway yesterday.  You’ve probably guessed by now that I’m a rabid fan of the IndyCar series and, well, it was opening day.  Had a terrific time despite the fact that I sunburned my lips.  What a weird sensation!  Sorta like the aftermath of eating really spicy chili, only it lasts for forty-eight hours!

While we were there the announcer, who sounds a lot like the principal from The Simpsons, started listing the official sponsors of the Indy 500.  They have an official beer.  And an official search engine.  So I got to thinking, they really need an official author. 

I’m up for the job.

I probably should’ve said something to Tony George while he was standing next to me that afternoon.  He and his stepson, Ed Carpenter, who’s also a driver, happened to trot up the stairs to watch some of the rookies drive from the same vantage point we’d chosen.  Except Tony strikes me as a shy man, and I thought it would be kinder to just let him be.  Plus he’s a little busy considering the fact that he owns the track.  And a team.  And runs the series.  But if I could’ve had a minute I might’ve suggested he bring me on board.  I mean, Jaz is a huge racing fan as well.  She only mentions the 500 all the freaking time! 

But, Jen, you might say, becoming an official sponsor requires dough!  Like, big bucks dontcha know!

I’m willing to deal, baby.  I’ve got twenty dollars, a signed copy of Biting the Bullet and a promise to repaint my mini-van just like this year’s pace car.  All I’m asking in return is four free tickets to the race for the rest of my life, all the Indy gear I could possibly wear and a chance to meet my fave driver, Dan Wheldon.  Sweet offer, yeah?  I don’t see how he can refuse!

Den of Iniquity!

Yes, my friends, I am shocked to report the birds have transformed my back yard into fornication station.  They’re going at it like rabbits and the rabbits haven’t even shown their whiskers for weeks, so you know what that means.  Spring has sprung, June is bustin’ out all over and it’s only May!  My take?  Birds were designed to fly, not to f-well, you know what I mean.  Hilarious!

In more G-rated news, I finished One More Bite yesterday and sent it off to my editor with a huge sigh of relief.  I’m pretty excited about this one, mainly because I think you guys will like it.  I hope, love it.  But I have some work to do before I can be sure.  Devi will write me an edit letter, which I’ll take to heart before I do an intense rewrite in the next two to three weeks.  Plan to see it on your local bookshelf in January, 2009. 

I also finished the final copyedit of Bitten to Death yesterday.  So, yeah, celebration this weekend!  What can I tell you about this story?  Lots of action.  A couple of cool new characters.  Progress on the relationship front, but perhaps not the kind you expected.  I’m sure you’ll let me know how you feel about that come August 12 in the US.  Still looks like a September release in the UK.  Sorry for the delay guys!

Hope you have a fabulous weekend.  We’ve got prom so, you know, lotsa futzing here on the homefront!

Biting the Bullet Giveaway

Here’s another great chance to win a copy of the third installment of Jaz and Vayl’s adventures at AmberKatze’s blog!  You have until Sunday 4pm CET to comment.  Good luck!

Cool Cat

mannyandjaz.jpgI thought you’d get a kick out of Manny here, who lives with Tez Miller.  I think he’s got the Jaz ’tude down, don’t you? 

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yup, today’s the big day!  It’s just after 7:30 a.m. and I’m already having a blast.  Just opened the presents from the kiddies.  First a series of cards.  A dancing dog saying, “Hooray for you! You did great!”  Then a smiling sun with the sentiment, “Hope you’re feeling sunny again soon!”  (Wha?)  Then falling maple leaves, “Thinking of you…and wishing you brighter days ahead.”  (Now I’m laughing my butt off.)  Finally an old-time TV  with Captain Kirk and Spock as its feature.  On the front the words, “Analysis Spock, If all the candles on the cake were to be lit simultaneously…” and when you open the card you hear Spock say, “Annihilation, Jim, total, complete, absolute annihilation.”

The presents rock as well.  A squeezy ball for those frustrating moments when Jaz just refuses to behave.  A tiara whose purple and green jewels flash in quick succession.  I’m wearing it right now, so that everyone in this empty house is well aware of who is the queen of her domain.  (If we get a good picture later I’ll post it.  Priceless!)  I also got an enormous robin to stick in the garden to warn the birds against overeating and (drum roll please) a snow-cone making machine!  Wahoo!

Ope, gotta tell ya, my lovely agent sent me the coolest gift as well.  The entire set of KISS/Psycho Circus (Spawn) action figures, still in their original boxes.  So cool!  There’s a back story.  Unfortunately I can’t reveal it quite yet.  Start imagining!

While everybody’s gone I’ll be putting the final polish on One More Bite.  I finished the rewrite Saturday, so hopefully it’ll just be a matter of reading through and changing wordage here and there.  The plot should be firm now. 

When the family returns, more partying!  My supper request is Rardin burgers.  Where you chop up onions and mix them along with mega spices right into the meat before you grill it.  Then you top the sandwich with bacon and yummy cheeses, slap it on a toasted bun slathered with mustard and BBQ sauce.  Oh, baby, I’m salivating already!  We’re also having homemade fries and for dessert, my hubby’s homemade cheesecake–which is seriously better than any other kind I’ve had anywhere.  Including New York. 

I LOVE birthdays!  I also love you guys.  So here’s a spring flower straight from my garden to your screen.  Hooray for you.  You did great!

dsc00198.JPG

  

What I Didn’t Know About Publishing

Here’s what happens after you sign the contract to write five books for your awesome new publishing house…

First your editor, who is an adorable New Yorker who talks so fast sometimes you have to say, “Slow down, Devi, I didn’t catch that last bit,” sends you a long, long letter detailing all the ways you can improve your manuscript.  And ninety-nine percent of the time she’s right.  She says things like, “I don’t think Vayl would say that.”  And, “This romance is heating up too fast.”  And, very occasionally, “I really liked that part, it made me laugh out loud.” 

After patching up the scrapes on your ego, you knuckle down and make the story better.  Then you send it back.  Then you start another book.  But it doesn’t end at that point.  If you have time, you might do a couple more rewrites of the first book while, at the same time, you’re writing the second.

In my case, at one point I was actually working on the first, second and third books in the series at the same time.  Editing the final copyedit of Once Bitten, Twice Shy while doing the final rewrite of Another One Bites the Dust while trying to make the deadline of the first draft of Biting the Bullet.  Stimulating, and yet a little hard on the red hairs.  I think several turned white during that time.

Right now I’m pushing to get a sweet polish on One More Bite by my May 1 deadline.  At the same time I’m editing the final copy of Bitten to Death, which I have to send back May 2.  If you don’t know how to portion off your time and keep multiple stories in your head at once, this is going to be a tough career path for you.  I do find myself stopping sometimes and thinking, Okay, what have they said to each other at this point?  What does the reader know?  It’s easy to get mixed up, because the facts you’ve revealed in book five are still mysteries in book four. 

In other words, it pays to take notes.

I’m still climbing the learning curve, so stay tuned.  As I figure stuff out, I’m sure I’ll be passing it on to you!

And the Winner Is…

Teresa W! 

 Teresa, if you would e-mail me your address (you’ll find my Contact tab at the top of the page) I will send it on to Robert, who will mail you your copy of Orphanage.  Congratulations!

Birthday Rehash

 

So, as promised, the picture of the Cinnamon Roll Fort (or THE FORTRESS as my boy likes to call it) is shown below.  It’s now on my hips and thighs.  Not nearly as attractive as I make efforts to sweat it away, but still worth the delish!

 

The day began at five a.m.  Yeah, I’m serious.  At our hourse, gift days begin as early as you like.  One Christmas the kids got us up at four.  Needless to say we went back to sleep immediately after the festivities, but you get the picture.  Or maybe not . . .

 

Sixteen-year-old knocking on the door.

Hubby, swimming up from a nice warm dream (about me, I hope), “Wha?”

The boy, “Hey.”

“Huh?”

“Hey.”

“What?”

“It’s time for my presents.”

“It’s five in the morning.  Go back to sleep.”

“Sorry.  No can do.”

(Now awake enough to remember the rule.)  “Okay, let me talk to your mom.”

I, having just woken from a dream where I was back in high school with a bunch of kids who were wearing hairy black leggings, which made them look like goats, singing songs in a language I didn’t understand, felt somewhat relieved that it wasn’t real because that was just too damn weird, said, “Why don’t we let him open his present from us?  We don’t have to wake up his sister until later.”

 

For those of you who don’t know her, waking up his sister anytime is a tricky process.   Always better to let her rise on her own.  Preferably sometime after noon.

Hubby, “Okay, come in.”

Birthday boy enters, grinning.  I direct him to the rectangular box on the floor, wrapped in green ribbon, blue paper, a shoe box, several layers of cardboard, and a cloth baggy.  He rips through it in .02 seconds.  It’s exactly what he asked for.  “All right!” 

Now he’s eyeing the blue gift bag from his sister.  Dad says, “You can open that later.”

“Aw.”

I say, “For your own safety, we’d better wait and wake her up at seven.”  Did I mention she’s not a morning person?  Lovely girl.  Would do anything for you.  But not until her brain is in full alert.  If you ever meet her, I suggest you catch her around nine p.m.  That’s when she’s just hitting her stride.  Good thing the career she’s considering is mainly a night thing.

Our lunch at Dog ‘N Suds rocked.  Nothing like a Bacon Cheeseburger and the world’s finest rootbeer to make your day.  Dinner (by request, of course) was chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, macaroni and cheese, crescent rolls and, yeah, The Fortress.  We could barely move afterward.  Happy birthday, kiddo.  I hope the next eighty years are as much fun for you as the first sixteen have been for me.

dsc00204.JPG

Holy Space Mollusk, It’s Robert Buettner!

I’m so excited I could do a Snoopy dance, and I haven’t even caffeinated myself this morning!  Let’s all welcome Robert Buettner to the site, shall we?  (Round of applause backed by squeals from some leftover New Year’s Eve blowouts.  I knew you dudes hadn’t thrown yours away!)

Robert has written three books in the Jason Wander series, Orphanage and Orphan’s Destiny, which have been out for a while, and Orphan’s Journey, which was just released this month.  I gotta tell you, I’ve read Orphanage and thoroughly enjoyed it.  Yah, I go for SciFi in a big way, though I’ve never written a word in that vein.  If you’re anything like me, it doesn’t matter what world you take me to as a reader, as long as it’s not this one.  And, my friends, Robert’s built one you just gotta see!

 Lucky for us he gave me some time recently to answer a few burning (pun intended) questions.  The interview follows.  He’s also generously offered to give away a copy of his first novel, Orphanage, to one lucky commenter.  So I’ll give you  until midnight PDT on Monday, April 21 to put your two cents in.   Then I’ll draw the lucky winner’s name at random.

Now here’s Robert!

Tell us a little about your terrific character, Jason Wander, and his adventures so far.

      The first thing to know about Jason is that he would roll his eyes at being described as “terrific.”  Jason was orphaned as an underachieving eighteen-year-old when an Alien attack on Earth in 2036 killed his mother.  He took his anger out on the world, and a juvenile judge offered him a choice between the infantry and jail.

      Since then, Jason has been pushed up the military ladder reluctantly, by doing the right thing when all goes to hell - which it always does in war.  He doesn’t suffer fools, bureaucracy, mud, or GI meals gladly, but he suffers them.  He irritates the Pentagon, but he irritates mankind’s intergalactic nemesis, the Slugs, even worse.

You and I have a lot in common.  Same publisher.  Same editor.  Our characters are even smartass heroes with tragic pasts.  But what a difference a world makes!  Talk about the differences (and similarities?) you see between Science Fiction and Urban Fantasy.

      Tight designer leather or Plasteel armor, the characters readers care about put it on one leg at a time, just like the reader does.  If you believe - and I do - that engaging fiction is what characters will do next and why, the rest is detail.  True, detail is where the devil is, but we’ll get to that when we talk about world building.

      The biggest difference I see between UF (tellingly, it is often called Dark Urban Fantasy, not just Urban Fantasy) and SF is protagonists.

      In SF, it’s still possible to write protagonists as heroes.  Heroes being ordinary people who do the right thing even though it hurts.  I  said “possible.”  La mode even in SF is superpowered freaks, psychotic loners, clones, cybernetic hybrids.  But the genre is broad enough to sneak in a Jason Wander, an Elizabeth Moon heroine, or David Weber’s Honor Harrington, even if it’s standing room only.

       On the other hand, DUF’s marquee characters, by definition, are immortals who drink blood and rip throats out.

      In other words, contrary to what I wrote above, the front-and-center characters that are the raison d-etre of DUF don’t put their pants on one legs at a time.  We mundanes can’t identify with them, so fiction centered on them becomes a stand-off portrait.  One way that gifted writers (present company case-in-point) work around that is by choosing a human viewpoint protagonist who is vulnerable, although expressing that vulnerability with kick-ass bravado.

      In sum, DUF must climb extra hurdles to engage a traditional reader, while SF easily avoids them.

 Okay, so what characters have you read, or maybe watched onscreen, that really grabbed you, and why?

      You mean besides Jaz, I presume.  I’m a sucker for a girl with attitude and knives.

      Point of clarification:  A good and appropriate character, who just happens to be part of a story that comes together at many levels doesn’t count, because then I’d be ranking the story and not the character.  King Kong reveals himself to be quite a guy, but without the plucky blonde, the shyster producer, and the Empire State Building, he’s just a bewildered monkey.

      That narrows it down among books to those few where the character is the story.  Which leaves me with the title character in Heinlein’s 1961 classic, Stranger in a Strange Land.  Valentine Michael Smith, an orphan born to Earth astronauts, raised by Martians, comes home to an Earth he’s never seen, and suffers the fate of a prophet.  Like all of those rare elements of fiction that stand the test of time, Mike transcended the mere book and became one with the zeitgeist, in ’sixties-speak.

      Bear with me on the why Mike grabs me, because the reasons spill outside the book into obscure Heinleiniana.  Heinlein’s skill with naive adolescent voice, honed in his “juveniles” that so many of today’s authors say inspired them, peaked in Mike’s observations about mankind’s lunacies.  On Mike’s rather overtly Christlike shoulders, Cold Warrior Heinlein built an unintended bridge to the Peace-Thru-Dope Generation.  Stranger is the only SF I know lionized in two pop songs - Crosby, Stills and Nash’s Triad, and Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire.  Mike became as obsessed with sex as you would expect a theretofore-celibate twenty-something male to be.  The remarkable thing about that was that Michael’s sudden sexual frankness paralleled that of his creator.  Heinlein’s “juveniles” had to satisfy Boy’s Life Magazine censors.  So Mike was the lovechild of Heinlein’s union with a new publisher, Putnam, after a messy divorce from prudish Scribners, over Heinlein’s tryst with testosterone in 1959’s Starship Troopers.  Suddenly Heinlein could notice in print that men and women did it because it was fun, and from there on, did they ever.  In fact, from there on, Heinlein’s characters spent most of their on-page time cracking wise while having sex with strangers, cousins, computers, with their mothers, and even with their older and younger selves.  I think no other writer’s career has pinballed so completely off a single character into, uh, virgin territory.

      On the film side, has there ever been a grabbier suite of charadters than the original Star Wars group?  Sure, they are characters by committee, the sum of casting, costumes, dubbed voices and actor interpretation.  But beat Sir Alec Guinness cast as a gray, dignified mentor.  Hollywood royalty Carrie Fisher cast as a plucky Princess.  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern recast as a whistling trash can and a tin butler.  Can omnipotent evil ever have another face after Darth?  Or a more ominous baritone than James Earl Jones?  And dialogue so unspeakable that it could have come off flickering Rudolph Valentino quote panels before talkies.  Yet who can imagine the characters speaking any other way?  “Darth Vader!  Only you could be so bold!”

You’ve had quite an interesting life up to this point.  What led you to choose writing?

      No, I’ve led a routine life, set in what the Chinese call “interesting times.”  Specifically, I survived the demi-century from the Dawn of the Atomic Age through the discovery on 9/11 that “The End of History” may have been, ah, oversold.  I’ve been soldier, Spook, paleontologist and lawyer just enough to fictionalize about it, but not enough to brag about it.

      When I was young enough that the special effects in Attack of the Crab Monsters scared me, everybody’s dad and nobody’s mom had “been in The War.”  When I was old enough to read Heinlein’s Starship Troopers, but still young enough to swallow it whole, every American male (Hillary didn’t have to dodge the draft) expected that, eventually, he would serve (even Elvis did) and everybody knew that one day the nukes would fry us all.  Then the Berlin Wall came down, and I was left a corporate natural resources lawyer, often stranded in airports and hotel rooms from Bogota to Cairo to Robinson, Illinois.

      I couldn’t find enough satisfying commercial fiction to fill the downtime, so I decided to create my own.  I sat down at Starbucks with my laptop, emerged thirty-six hours later with my debut novel, and sold it immediately for an advance bigger than Bulgaria’s GNP.  Well, not exactly.  In only twelve short years, after seven rejected or too-awful-to-submit manuscripts and a million unpublished words, Orphanage sold for an advance large enough to host lunch at McDonalds for twelve, if nobody supersized.  But Orphanage made B&N’s paperback top 50 within two weeks.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers, especially those who are trying to build fiction based in brand new worlds?

      First, write well.  That will jump your stuff ahead of eighty percent of contemporary commercial fiction, and a surprising percentage of contemporary “serious,” i.e., largely unread, fiction.  How to write well?  Learn and live by Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style, and/or the more contemporary and conversational On Writing, by Stephen King.

      Second, write lots.  Margaret Mitchell spent ten years writing one book.  Acknowledge that your first effort isn’t Gone With the Wind, then reinvent your writing over and over until it’s so good that they can’t ignore it.  But be prepared to persevere, because they will ignore it anyway.

As for world building:

       One reason readers read fiction is to escape the world they live in, because it sucks, or because it doesn’t suck enough.  You can take that last as a vampire joke, or as my bewilderment that readers ache to bathe in post-apocalyptic misery like the world Cormac McCarthy built in The Road.

       All fiction requires world building of some kind, whether the antebellum South of Gone With the Wind, or an alternate present where the CIA employs vampires, or a near future where Drill Sergeants are still Drill Sergeants, even beyond the orbit of Jupiter.

      Fiction is lying with impunity, but it still has one rule, which is that the lie must persuade the reader.  As they taught us in Spook school, persuasive lies are grounded in truth.

      “Truth” in genre fiction takes form as “rules” within the genre.

      In historicals, like Gone With the Wind, the rule is to hew to historical fact.  A Civil War soldier’s rifle must emit an obscuring cloud of smoke, because smokeless powder came into use for rifles only after that war.  Readers of historicals hunger for those details, which allow them to suspend their disbelief and escape into a world that has, uh, gone with the wind.  They will put down a book that breaks the rules of historical fact in even the smallest way, because they then know the story is a lie.

      In Urban Fantasy, the rules readers weigh are “established truths” of paranormal legend.  Stuff like you can only kill a werewolf with a silver bullet.  Of course, you can kill a werewolf with a bullet made of a new alloy that the CIA invents, as long as you explain that to the reader as you go, in apparently authentic detail.

       In SF, the rules are physical laws, like no-exceeding-lightspeed.  Again, it’s okay to change the rules, as long as you explain the Hyperdrive Button just enough that the reader buys it.

      Does that mean that a world-building writer must learn all there is to know about smokeless powder, or Non-Newtonian physics?  Or worse, dump all that learning onto the story like five pounds of sugar on a french fry?  No.

Quoth the aforementioned Stephen King:

                 “What I’m looking for is a touch of verisimilitude, like the handful of spices you chuck into a good spaghetti sauce to really finish her off.  That . . . is particularly important in a story dealing with the abnormal or paranormal.  Also, enough details-if they are the correct ones-can stem the tide of letters from picky-ass readers who apparently live to tell writers that they messed up.”

      Okay, how much is a “handful?”  More than “Zorg pressed the Hyperdrive button/Buffy turned the McNuggium bullet in her hand.”  But less than the amount that overwhelms the story.  Good luck, chef.

 Miscellaneous observations about world building:

      One reason cited for the demise of “Hard Science Fiction” is that HSF so emphasizes extrapolated fact over character and story that projections and simulations of science fact have mooted it.  NASA’s CGI cartoons have eliminated the SF-author middleman, as far as seeing accurately what it will look like when a spacesuited man walks on Mars.  So if the man in the suit is cardboard with his story pasted-on, what’s left to care about?

     One practical tip: never miss an opportunity to convert a mundane detail into a detail that emphasizes the different world through which your characters and your story move.

      When the near-future Drill Sergeant has the Trainee scrub the latrines, the Trainee should be puzzled until he recognizes that tool he is given is an antique, manual toothbrush.

      When the five-star restaurant waiter asks the suave CIA vampire how he wants his steak cooked, the vampire should shudder.  “Cooked?”

Thanks, Robert!  That was freaking fabulous!  I’m so inspired I’m going to run to the office and click off a thousand words right now!  But you guys go ahead and comment.  I’ll be checking the PC from time to time to make sure your attempt to win Orphanage gets recorded.  Good luck!

orphanage.jpg

orphans-destiny.jpg

 240_beuttner_orphanjouneymm.jpg

About Jennifer

Jennifer Rardin began writing at the age of 12, mostly poems to amuse her classmates and short stories featuring her best friends as the heroines. She lives in an old farmhouse in Illinois with her husband and two children.

Out Now
Sign up for email updates





Recent Posts
Recent Comments
  • jrardin: Penny, you have enlightened me. When the announcers called Scott a 'Kiwi' and he totally didn't react I...
  • Kalea: Ideal weekend? Hmmmm. That would probably be me, my best friend, lots of movies, and chocolate. There would...
  • Tez Miller: Kiwi accents are a hoot. And for Trivia, I think Mr Dixon was born in Brisbane...in Australia ;-) Though...
  • Penny: Ahhh, easy, peace and quiet to read my to be read pile (Biting the Bullet is in it). Or watching Scott Dixon...
  • jrardin: Very cool plan. Hope it comes together for you soon!
Meta