I just found out that a house in Spain has bought the right to publish Once Bitten, Twice Shy!  (I promise I’ll learn the flamenco just as soon as I get one of those kickass skirts!)  What I’m looking forward to even more is that you native speakers will now have a chance to read Jaz’s first adventure and then report back to me how you say, “Holy crap!” in Spanish.

I really should know.  I took three years of the dern language in high school.  Probably the reason I can’t remember more than a few words is that I didn’t go on the class trip to Spain.  I thought about it.  But since my parents expected me to pay, and I wanted a car worse, guess which one I chose.  Yeah.  A pea green Plymouth Duster that drank oil like a boozehound at Mardis Gras.  It got me where I wanted to go, though.  Finally sold it for a hundred bucks to a guy who wanted it for the parts.  Never will forget that car.  It had bench seats, which were great for making out.  And that’s all I’m saying about that!

So what about your first vehicle?  Love of your life, or four tires and a hunka steel you’d still like to take a hammer to?  Let’s hear your first-time driving stories!   

32 Days Until Brentwood, MO (Borders) Book Signing (Aug 17th, 3-5 p.m.)

Here’s an idea to make the event memorable!  We could give everybody who shows up in costume a pair of fake vampire teeth, preferably the ones that glow in the dark!

…will have to wait until I have a low mileage vehicle.  Or possibly a motorcycle.  (I do know how to ride one.  Used to tear up the country roads southeast of my house when I was too young to drive a car.  But that’s another story, and one we probably shouldn’t share with the police, who have enough to worry about as it is.)

I do, however, have a sweet alternative to the above.  A couple of Midwest signings that I expect every one of you to attend, despite the fact that I know some of you will have to fly for at least twelve hours to do so.  (Okay, okay, maybe I’ll give you guys a break this time, seeing as how you’ve got jobs and families and lives and crap.  But next time–I’ll probably just come to you.)

Everybody else, come out and party with me, yeah?  It’s gonna be great.  In fact, I’ve decided to do a countdown to the signing dates on the website here, accompanied by terrific ideas as to how to make the events a wowsa experience.  If you want to throw some ideas into the mix, feel free.  I’ll be happy to post them should they tickle my funnybone.  Here are the down-and-dirties:

SATURDAY, AUGUST 16, 2008
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm EDT
Waldenbooks Terre Haute
3401 S US Highway 41 #E12
(It’s just as you step into Honeycreek Mall)
Terre Haute, IN  47802

SUNDAY, AUGUST 17, 2008
3:00 pm - 5:00 pm CT
Borders #217 - Brentwood

1519 S. Brentwood Blvd.
Brentwood, MO 63144

I’ll be appearing (har!  like I’m some kinda movie star!) with Colleen Gleason, author of The Gardella Vampire Chronicles.  She seems super cool, so it should be a fun gig all the way around.    

34 Days Until Waldenbooks Signing

Here’s an idea to make the event memorable!  In honor of Cole, who seems to be a popular sidekick, we could have a bubble blowing contest.  Most gum left on the face at the end wins. 

I’m big into superheroes.  Not so much Superman because he’s a little too perfect.  Or maybe it’s just the hair.  But the other dudes pretty much strike my awe.  I even think Aquaman’s pretty cool!  (While I read comics about everyone else, I had a book of his adventures.  In fact, every once in a while I still have a breathing underwater dream that turns out to be absolutely marvelous!)

 So I’m thinking we should form ourselves a superhero den.  Everybody pick their own alter-ego and describe your super powers in as much detail as you can manage.  You may have a sidekick, a cool vehicle, gadgets, even a motto that you’d like to share with us.  (You Americans may recognize elements of Stan Lee’s reality show here, but I promise we’re not trying to jump his vibe.  Saving the world should be a sharing thing and we’re into originality on this site.) 

So, if I could be a superhero, I’d be Gardening Girl.  My weapons would be a belt full of trowels sharpened to a deadly point, which I’d be able to throw accurately from a distance of at least three feet.  I’d ride to emergency sites on my souped-up lawnmower, which can travel at speeds of up to two hundred miles per hour–while trimming!  My sidekick would be Nels the Nurseryman, short on brains, long on shovels.  He tends to bang people over the head first and ask questions later, but he is helpful when trying to dig up evidence (snort!).

 I could go on, but now it’s your turn.  Come on, superheroes, we have nasty villains to catch and Nels and I can’t do it alone.  Who will join us next? 

How can I be so sure?  Because a very kind man pointed out to me today that the Jaz Parks series is now listed in Wikipedia!  I’m pretty happy with the article as it currently stands, but I’d love to know what you think.  Chime in when you get a minute, will ya?

In order to crank up the anticipation for Bitten to Death (as if we all weren’t already wired like office buildings!) and in response to those of you who’ve requested it, we’ve added a Fan Art page to the website!  

My understanding is that all you need to do is post as you normally would, then I approve it as fan art, and it appears on that page.  In order to keep the design from breaking, images that appear there need to be under 500 pixels wide, but I’m not laying down the law here.  If we get something bigger we’ll try to work it out for you, it just may take longer to appear on the page.  Here are the rules:

 1.  Art has to relate to the Jaz Parks series.

2.  Jennifer Rardin has the right to refuse to post any art submitted.  (Doubt if we’ll have any trouble, but this’ll keep the pervs at bay!)

I’m really excited about this, you guys.  As one of the few people in my family who can’t draw a stick man without making him look like a pile of twigs, I deeply admire the abilities of those whose talents lie in the visual arts.  Plus it’ll be so neat to see how you visualize the characters, settings, even the inventions that arise during Jaz and Vayl’s adventures.  My fingers are tingling over the mouse just thinking of all the great works I’ll be approving in the future.  So have at it, okay?  Here’s your chance to shine.

 Love,

Jennifer 

Believe it or not, I thought about you guys quite a bit as I strolled, soared, and occasionally flew upside-down through the various parks that comprise Disney World.  So much to share.  But in such a way that you wouldn’t yawn and look longingly toward the door like polite guests who really just came for my terrific meatloaf and mashed potatoes.  I finally decided I’d give you the highlights like this:

• Surrounded by fascinating accents and foreign languages, I was too intimidated by potential rejection to just out-and-out ask, “Where ya from?  Because you sound so freaking cool!”  Seriously, only a geek would ask such a thing, right?  Or maybe a serial killer.  Either way–nobody who’s gone to all the trouble to get a passport and fly clear to America is going to give some weird redhead the time of day when she’s gushing about their accent.  Are they?  So I just enjoyed the sounds–like music to my Midwestern worn ears–and wondered if these people were from the same part of Europe as Carolin, or Phoebe, or Gareth.  Or if they came from Australia like Tez.  I heard some French speakers too.  All of it–lovely.
• Chocolate milkshakes taste a hundred percent better when you’re hot and tired.
• My migraine medicine works really well, but despite its help I cannot ride roller coasters endlessly now like I did when I was a kid.  Dammit.
• Cinderella’s Castle makes me cry.
• All shows are more fun when little kids watch them with you.
• Teenagers on vacation should never be spoken to until after noon.  Or, if you just have to, at least pump them full of caffeine before attempting logical conversation.  Mine are into the fancy coffees.  Probably because I don’t drink coffee.  Ever.
• My favorite ride:   The Haunted Mansion
• My favorite show: King Arthur & the Holy Grail (street performance in the United Kingdom at Epcot)
• My favorite souvenir: a copy of Mary Poppins Opens the Door
• Hubby’s favorite souvenir: a beer stein from Bavaria
• Cool occurrences: I met three young people from Morocco, one of whom set me straight about some details that had confused me for a book I’m writing set in Marrakesh.  They were so sweet!  Also had two people give us their fastpass tickets so we could ride the Rock ‘n’ Roller coaster without waiting forever.  Learned how to draw Donald Duck.  Ate like a starving woman and didn’t gain a pound.  Got to hug Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too.  Finally got to ride Mission Space.

There’s more, but I can see your eyes are beginning to cross.  So now it’s your turn.  Tell me something memorable that happened on your last vacation.  Where’d you go?  Or where would you like to go next?  Can’t wait to hear your wonderful stories!

Despite his busy schedule, Edinburgh native, Brian Ruckley, has agreed to spend some time with us discussing the wonderful world of story.  Brian’s fantasy novel, Winterbirth introduced readers to his epic trilogy, The Godless World.  Bloodheir, which was just released last week, continues the saga.  I enjoyed the originality of Brian’s world and the toughness of his characters, so I invited him to join us.  I hope you enjoy our talk as much as I did!

1.  So, Brian, you’ve come up with some really juicy villains for your trilogy.  Please choose your favorite and tell us what he or she would be most likly to do, assuming nobody was looking: 

a.  Pick his/her nose and wipe it under the table. 

b.   Sing showtunes out the tower window. 

c.  Talk to the dogs like they’re wittle babies. 

d.  Fart repeatedly because they enjoy the smell that much. 

Please explain. 

          With the caveat that I don’t really think of any of the characters as out and out villains–more as misguided folk with (admittedly rather severe) personality defects who make some really, really bad decisions–I guess I’d have to pick Aeglyss, the mad halfbreed who starts off in Winterbirth as a generally despised, relatively ineffective character but gradually becomes (says he, frantically trying to avoid spoilers) . . . considerably more alarming and considerably more central to the plot.  In fact, Bloodheir is arguably more about him than it is about anyone else.

         As to what he’d be most likely to do, I’d have to go with (c): talk to the dogs.  Basically, the guy couldn’t form a normal, functional relationship with a properly sentient being–human or otherwise–to save himself.  Dogs would be about his level, I suspect, when it comes to emotional interaction.  In fact, dogs would be more or less perfect for him, since one thing you can normally rely on from dogs is unconditional love and loyalty, and those are precisely what Aeglyss craves.  It’d be a match made in heaven.

          Mind you, people aren’t the only ones with personality defects in the books: there are one or two dogs in there that might be inclined to take his face off if he spoke to them in a silly voice . . .

2.  Okay, all goofing aside for, like, three minutes–revenge seems to be a powerful theme in your books.  Why did you choose that as a character motivator?

          I’d probably call it ‘unfinished business’ rather than strictly revenge, I think.  The books are stuffed with societies that have basically been carrying collective grudges of one sort or another for centuries, and some of the characters have their own unresolved issues that get laid over that like a bitter icing on the shared cake of dissatisfaction.  It seemed to me that was a pretty fair reflection of how a lot of history in the real world plays out, in both our recent and distant past.

          I was particularly keen on the idea of not having bad guys who did what they did just because they were . . . you know, bad.  Even people doing the most insanely terrible things tend to think, however bizarrely, that they’ve got some sort of reason to be doing what they’re doing, and those reasons often spring from their personal or cultural history, so when I was casting around for plausible motivations for all the unfortunate stuff that goes on in the books that’s where I turned.

3.  You’ve accomplished quite a difficult task in creating a brand new world that convinces even as it fascinates.  How long had it been developing in your mind before you finally began to put it all together?

          Depends on your definition of developing, really.  I’m sure it’s the same for most writers, but certainly in my case all kinds of very indirect influences simmered away in my brain for years.  When I actually decided to get serious about trying to write a novel, a whole load of stuff began to come together that I had unknowingly been storing away in the dusty corners of my brain for ages.  Probably the biggest element of that was all the reading (and watching and visiting) I had done on historical subjects.  None of it had been intended as research or preparation for a novel, but it turned out I’d accidentally accumulated most of what I needed to come up with a more or less plausible and convincing world, and to give it a more or less plausible and convincing history of its own.

          In practice, the details of the world kind of developed in parallel with the plot.  I actually don’t have huge piles of background notes–in some ways I wish I did, but it’s too late to worry about that now–but I do have a fairly clear vision of my invented world, and an outline of its history, sitting snugly in my head.  A lot of it came into focus as I was writing.  It’s one luxury you have when you’re an unpublished writer working on your first novel, I suppose:  there’s no great rush, so you can allow these things to develop gradually and naturally.

4.  Have you ever wished you could live in the world you created?  Why or why not?

          You’re kidding, right?  I mean, it’s a world that even its own Gods abandoned because they couldn’t get its inhabitants to play nice.  You did not notice all those crazies running around with swords?  I’d last about ten minutes flat.

          Actually, in one respect I’d love to visit it.  I’ve got a long-standing interest in landscape and wildlife (more of a love than an interest, to be honest), not entirely unconnected with growing up in Scotland which has its fair share of rather nice examples of both.  So when inventing a world, I got to do some wish fulfillment on that front.  The landscape is an exaggerated version of Scotland–wilder forests, higher mountains, etc.–and the wildlife is pretty much what Scotland had before us humans decided the place would be much nicer if we tidied away all the bears and wolves and other natural inconveniences into extinction.  I’d love to have a chance to just wander around a bit, taking in the scenery, enjoying the wilderness, so I suppose if I was going to live in that world I’d be a bit of a recluse, off in a cabin somewhere with a nice river outside my front door and a good view of the mountains.  So long as none of the sword-wielding crazies tracked me down, I’d probably be fine.

5.  I’ve often thought that writers are frustrated travelers.  If you could go anywhere without the limitations of time and space, where would you visit and why?

          It’s probably a bit rude for a guest to flagrantly disprove their host’s hypothesis, but I wouldn’t really fit the category of frustrated traveller.  I’m more of a slightly jaded traveller:  I’ve been ludicrously lucky in that I’ve travelled my little socks off, and to be honest I kind of ran out of steam a bit on that front.  I’ve been to some staggering places–Borneo, Mongolia, Namibia, Patagonia amongst many others–and wouldn’t have missed it for anything, but spend a lot of time in hotels, living out of suitcases and getting your brain smeared by jetlag and the glamour of it all gets blunted a touch.  Actually, I guess that doesn’t disprove your hypothesis at all: maybe I was a frustrated traveller before I did all that travelling.

           Removing restrictions of time and space is more than enough to get my traveller juices flowing again, though.  Innumerable tantalising possiblities spring to mind: the Byzantine Empire somewhere between the 7th and 11th centuries, because I’m fascinated by its history and would love to see Constantinople in the full flower of its glory; London a few hundred years from now, because I’m wildly curious about the future and wildly frustrated that–barring miracles–I’m not going to get to see it; and as far as the present is concerned, I’ll have Mars, please.  Because . . . .well, it’s Mars.

6.  Feel free to ramble here in case you’ve thought of an answer I forgot to ask the question to!

          Thanks very much for inviting me over here.  It’s been fun.  You’ll be posting that ticket to Mars to me, right?    

Sure, Brian, just as soon as I win three or four lotteries and they let regular folks like us hitch rides, we’ll both be set, because I wouldn’t mind doing some planet hopping myself!  In the meantime, thanks so much for dropping by!  If you want to learn more about Brian, be sure to visit his website at www.brianruckley.com.  You can also contact him at the following e-mail address: brian@brianruckley.com.

Yeah, I know, you didn’t even realize I was gone.  Went to Disney World for an eight-day foot-burner of a vacation that I’m sure we’ll still be talking about in a decade.  Yup, it was that good.  But I won’t bore you with the details.  Just know I was inspired and hopefully the next book will be better.  Stay tuned tomorrow for the charming and talented Brian Ruckley!

Make sure you drop in next week, because Brian Ruckley will be stopping by for a visit.  He’s the author of the epic fantasy trilogy, The Godless World.  I’ve already read book one, Winterbirth, and really enjoyed it.  Part two, Bloodheir, will release from Orbit (my publisher too!) tomorrow.

I also wanted to let you know that we’re working on a few book signings for later this summer.  As soon as dates gel, I’ll let you know my schedule.  In the meantime, you can pick up books I’ve signed, or that have bookplates attached signed by me, at the following locations:

The Book Rack in Titusville, Florida 

Temptation the Romance Bookstore in Crossways Shopping Centre, Subiaco, Western Australia

Waldenbooks and Books-A-Million in Terre Haute, Indiana

Borders in Edwardsville, Illinois

Weather note:  after a brief but spectacular storm last night that included hail, the sun is shining again.  (Big head shake.)  Funky times!

I’m guest blogging over at Tez Miller’s site today–all about my passion for fast cars, which Jaz just happens to share.  If you’d like to give it a read, you can see the intro here and the blog here.  Enjoy!